tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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