I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Randomize
