No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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