Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
