i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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