do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
