it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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