That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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