He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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