There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
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