ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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