dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Girls should come with a carfax report
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
