At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
