found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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