What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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