Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
