if i can run in heels then i can drive
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
