I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
