I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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