Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
