someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
