she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
