How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
My vagina just recognized that song.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
