she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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