i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
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