Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
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i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
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Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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