I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
