I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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