i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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