would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
