p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Randomize
