Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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