i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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