Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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