I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
