Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
