Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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