I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
