Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
i already hear my dad disowning me
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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