Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
