I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
When did angry sex become our thing?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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