.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
