90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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