I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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