Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I touched a dick in church today
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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