I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
