So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize