OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
