i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
