You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
