It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
