after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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