I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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