I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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