Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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