I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize